Those who have known the teachings of Anthony Robbins and Robert Smith can easily see that there’s a lot of overlap between the two. This is because Tony’s work has inspired Robert tremendously, and integrated a lot of it into his own modality from the presuppositions of NLP to its techniques.

This time, I’m going to talk about a piece that (as far as I know) is not part of FasterEFT, yet coupled with the knowledge I’ve gained so far, it’s of great help to me. Tony devoted a whole chapter in his book Unlimited Power to this topic, which is the precision model of communication. By changing the way I communicate with myself and others, it’s not only easier for me to create rapport with others, but I can also re-imprint even the most stubborn memories, creating more peace in my life.

Words matter

One of the presuppositions of NLP (and FasterEFT) is that “the map is not the territory”. This statement can have more than one meaning: on the one hand, the way we experience the world is not the world itself, but merely our inner representation; on the other hand, when we use words to describe our experiences, we can’t describe them with 100% accuracy. However, what we can do is choose words that reflect our inner world as faithfully as possible.

How many times has it occurred to you that a conflict arose between another person and you because you misunderstood each other? Or you asked for something—either from someone or the universe—but you received something else instead? These all are possible symptoms of vague wording, which can be remedied by asking a few simple questions. As you do so during a conversation or while you’re writing down your goals, you may get on well with others even more and you can focus your creative resources on what really matters to you.

However, what I really want highlight is how different results I get when I use these same questions while I’m tapping on myself. Robert uses and teaches tapping with the question “How do you know?” which helps your mind concentrate on what you’re doing inside you when you think about your issue or, in other words, (re)create it inside you. This type of concentration (or, as Robert calls it, “aiming”) is a crucial part of tapping in FasterEFT. Besides, I’ve realised that I can aim by replacing this question with the ones listed by Tony in his book. Having tried this for about three weeks, I have already made spectacular results, which include the change of perception of various memories I’ve been virtually struggling with in the past six years.

How do I tap?

I begin my usual tapping ritual by asking, “What do I want to achieve?” or “What is the problem?” Then, I go inside and listen. If the reply contains a word of a certain part of speech or a particular phrase, I ask a fitting question, as shown in the list below. I listen to the reply: it may be a thought or an imaginary person’s answer, but a feeling, sensation, or emotion may also come up. In the case of the last one, I tap a few rounds until it’s gone and go back to the previous statement. (If I can no longer remember it or it doesn’t bother me anymore, I ask again, “What do I want to achieve?” or “What is the problem?”)

  • Verbs → “How?”
  • Nouns → “What does … mean exactly?”, “What do you mean by …?”
  • “too” + an adjective denoting amount (as in “too few”, “too many” etc.) → “Compared to what?”
  • “should (not)”, “must (not)”, “can(not)” → “According to who?”, “What prevents you from doing that?”, “What is necessary for doing that?”
  • Universals (“every”, “no-”, “always” etc.) → “Really always?”

Let’s say I want to release the unpleasant feeling I have with a certain person. I imagine them being with me and I ask them what they want to achieve or what the problem is. If they say, “I’m angry with you because you screwed up,” I ask them, “How are you angry with me?” This usually makes the feeling related to the word “angry” inside me stronger, I notice it, and tap as many rounds as necessary for it to fade away. Then I go back to the original sentence and ask, “What did I screw up exactly? How did I screw up?” Let’s suppose the answer is “Yesterday you didn’t perform as well as you should have.” I say, “According to who?” Sometimes, I may feel confused at this point, feeling what that other person is feeling, and tap on it. Then I go back: “How did I screw up?” They reply, “Actually, you didn’t screw up; you did the best you could. The problem is just that someone else is not playing by my rules and gets away with it.” Here I could continue asking questions such as “How is it a problem?”, “What are those rules exactly?”, “How does that someone not act by your rules?”, and “How does that someone get away?”, and keep cleaning up until the situation completely changes to positive. (There are times when I do the same from their perspective, imagining me being that other person, who is talking to me.)

In another example, I’m alone and I say to me, “Nobody loves me.” I reply, “Really nobody loves you?” or “How does nobody love you?” One possible reaction to this is “Well, it’s not really true that nobody loves me. It’s just too many people have rejected me.” A good question to this is “Too many compared to what?” When the answer is “Compared to what I expected,” I can say, “What did you expect exactly?” and so on.

What about the way Robert teaches it?

I’m sure Robert has done a lot of research and experimentation until he came up with the current form of tapping that he teaches to others. What’s great about “How do I know?” is that with it, you can aim at how you create your problem even if you don’t have a word for it. (Let’s say all you’re aware of is you’re feeling, seeing, or hearing something, but you can’t find a word to describe what it is.) So, I’ll continue using it when I tap with others and my intention is not to criticise this form of tapping.

My goal has been to show what works better for me while I’m tapping by myself. The only way to find out whether it’ll work for you is you give it a try. If you decide to try it, I suggest you start with the question “How do I know” and tap daily, as Robert explains it, until it becomes natural to you, and then try the question above.

If you’ve tried tapping using the questions from the precision mode mentioned by Tony and you’ve also made good results, please, share it with me. I’m glad to hear about your success.